This ‘n That
* Clocks go back on Sunday, November 5th. I hope mine goes back to a time when people had Morals, Values, Loyalty, Appreciation, and Respect.
* It’s never too early to tell people what you want for Christmas. This year, many people are asking for groceries, gas, and money for utilities. This is not a joke. What it is is sad.
* I haven’t written anything about Chuck Norris for a while, so here goes: Chuck Norris doesn’t need a watch; he decides what time it is; Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun; Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly; Chuck Norris doesn’t turn the light on, he turns the dark off; and when Chuck Norris pays with his credit card, he gets the money.
* What has fifteen actors, four settings, two writers, and one plot? 646 Hallmark Christmas movies.
* Mother Nature: “You can’t have all four seasons in one week!” Kansas: “Hold my beer.”
* How do you install new software into your brain? Read a book.
* I love AC/DC, so here you go…..“Due to rising costs Dirty Deeds are no longer done dirt cheap. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
* Now that it is November let’s see a few turkeys, pumpkin pies, and footballs in our décor.
* When you age, instead of the rhyme, “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” it is “Wallet, Glasses, Keys and Phone.” * Moms are better than any CSI detectives because they know you did it, how you did it, and who you did it with, and they can hear you trying to hide the evidence if they haven’t found it already. * To all of the dog people….“ If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.”
Here is one for everybody….“We should be able to call in healthy. Call into work and say, “I’m not coming in today because I feel great, and I don’t want to waste it on being at work, especially since it is so nice outside.”
* Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?
* Think about this: Thousands of people read the same book, but in each one’s mind, the characters and settings look different.
