When do we want it? NOW!
Those of you 60 years of age or older will probably understand this week’s thoughts and musings more than those in the younger set. When I was growing up, our society was still influenced greatly by the farm culture. That culture was even more prevalent in my parents’ and grandparents’ generations as my mother, just like her mother, had not worked outside the home. My dad farmed ground that was “in the family,” and tried to make a go of it, but it just wasn’t enough to provide for our growing family. Dad found work at a service station in our hometown of Goessel, delivering fuel and doing whatever came up at the station, and later, leased or sold the land and all our farm equipment when he began working at Hesston Corporation. For most of my school years, my mother did not have a job other than an AVON route. But that changed, too, as she went to work at a bank in Hesston, about 15 miles from home. My two younger brothers were on their own much more than me and my two older brothers. There are still stories that surface at times about my younger brothers alone on the farm in the summers and some of their crazy death-defying experiments.
The lifestyle that I grew up in was slower, much different than now. Living in the country, I came to understand that there was a season for planting, a season for growing, and a season for harvesting. Even though my parents both took jobs to support our family, life was a slower pace. I grew up following a natural pattern and timetable for living which couldn’t be rushed. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven,” says the writer of Ecclesiastes, a Bible verse that comes to me when I think back on my childhood.
However, I believe that lifestyle ended with my generation. In fact, we “baby boomers” came of age together with personal computers. To prove it, I still have a first-generation Apple Computer, my first computer, packed away among my other museum artifacts for my family to do something with at some point.
Our rural upbringing was very different than that of our sons, because, while Bob and I both grew up in the country, our sons grew up in Goessel with babysitters who may or may not have known what was really going on most of the day. Just like my younger brothers, there are many stories of those summers that come up in conversations with our sons, now that the statute of limitations has expired. It’s a wonder they survived those years, given some of the crazy shenanigans we’ve heard about since then.
One of the first big purchases we made after the birth of our first son, was a microwave oven. A behemoth, heavy thing that warmed a bottle in 30 seconds versus waiting for a pan of water to heat up on the stove. That was the first “high tech” item in our young married life, and was also the first item of the “I want it NOW” generation.
Today we live in a technological society where things can’t happen fast enough. Everything comes to us in an instant—from oatmeal to news. Everything is fast—from food to faxes. We get impatient at a “fast-food” restaurant when it feels like someone ahead of us in line is ordering for an army or simply can’t make up their mind. We even get frustrated when it takes a few extra milliseconds for the computer to come on. Our society is characterized by words like “drive-thru” and “log on”, “upload” and “download”. We get impatient and downright irritable with anything or anyone that takes time and slows us down.
What bothers me the most is the self-absorption of a techno-lifestyle that keeps us from looking up. Literally. It is prevalent everywhere—at the grocery store, at a ballgame, in a doctor’s waiting room, simply walking the sidewalk or sitting on the front porch. Everyone (including me, many times!) has their head down and their eyes and fingers fixated on that most powerful supercomputer ever made: the cell phone. Most of us would admit freely that we would be lost without it. I know I would; and when I stop and think about that, I don’t like it. It’s a far cry from my younger days when people would actually look at each other, smile and say “Hi” to others sharing the sidewalk or passing in the grocery aisle.
This brings me to a very important aspect of life that may be slipping away—building meaningful relationships with another person. We can make an acquaintance “on the spot,” but a friendship won’t happen instantaneously. It takes TIME—the most precious commodity of our INSTANT society. TIME must be invested over the long-term if we expect to have a friendship that is dependable and true.
Growing a relationship is much like growing a crop.ing a crop. First there must be a season of PLANTING: spending time together and finding common ground. Then comes the season of GROWING: when the friendship reaches deeper into another person’s life which can only happen by spending time together. And as the relationship deepens and matures, we celebrate a lifelong season of HARVEST: when the friendship becomes a source of strength and encouragement.
We all want, and need, meaningful friendships. We all yearn for relationships which go beyond the shallow courtesies of “Hi, how are you?” or “Let me know if you need anything.” It can’t happen RIGHT NOW like most every other aspect of our lives. It takes more of our time and energy to invest in people than the instantaneous results we have come to expect at the press of a button. But the rewards reach deep into our SOUL, just like roots in the soil that support a healthy plant.
Put down the phone. Look up and out, around and within.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
