Officially amazing (and weird)

Wed, 11/17/2021 - 08:28

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I don’t usually pay attention to Guinness World Records, mostly because there are more important, more urgent things that need my attention. A person can only hold so much before the brain just pops, and that sounds messy. I don’t want that to happen. The really weird thing is, the other day I saw a

The really weird thing is, the other day I saw a list of some of the updated records in the Guinness World Records, and it was such an entertaining piece of craziness that, for a few minutes, I got completely distracted from those more urgent things that I should have been doing. Like a breath of Calgon, I was carried away in a drift of abandonment from everything else that had far more significance. Not to mention a higher priority. I can only imagine that the only thing better than a PRINTED LIST of this nonsense would be PHOTOS of these record holders. And while I’m certain there are pictures out there on the internet, I fortunately snapped out of it and came to my senses—I did not take the time to go find pictures of these record holders. Actually most of the things on this list I wouldn’t want to see because they would be hard to unsee, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I’ll let you go search for pictures if you want; just don’t forward them to me. I’m good with not seeing pictures.

Here you go:

Most fingers and toes on a living person: 25

Longest tongue: 3.74”

Longest hair: 18’ 5.54”

Longest fingernails: 24’ 7.8”

Longest ear hair: 5.19”

Heaviest weight lifted by an ear: 136 lbs.

Farthest eyeball pop: 0.47”

Most pierced woman: 720 piercings

Most tattooed person: 100%

Stretchiest skin: 6.25”

Tallest man: 8’ 11”